If i come over, it means nothing
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
