Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
