I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
