If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
