She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
