Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
