guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
