GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
