every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
