I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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