Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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