well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
