I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
do nipples grow back?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
