When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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