Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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