even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
