And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
