Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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