I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
