Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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