Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize