A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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