so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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