why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
