so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
