If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize