i think my mom watched the whole time
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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