can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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