she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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