At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
