Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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