I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
