If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When did angry sex become our thing?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
