it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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