Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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