Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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