I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
