Bisexual people are plain selfish.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just had sex on a roof
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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