She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
party gras won. party gras always wins.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
