Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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(256): View more from Alabama

she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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(330): View more from Ohio

I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter

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(630): View more from Illinois

He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..

(856): View more from New Jersey

i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.

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