One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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