you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize