I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
porn star boner night. come get it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
