Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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