miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
