ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
