Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
