The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
