the new term for farting is butt boxing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
