oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
