your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
