went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
