nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
