Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's a Shit stain on my heart
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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