glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize