I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
