its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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